2012 in review: the end to a new beginning.

2012 like a candle with only the last bit of a wick is slowly about to be extinguished. I will always remember 2012 because this was the year that I let go of fear and started to put pen to paper words on screen.

Over the years I have lost track of the number of friends, acquaintances and random people who have asked me if I was an author and if so the title of my book.

I remember that I used to chuckle internally and think to myself "silly people authors are great people with amazing imagination not someone like plain old me"

Funny how we lie to ourselves and say "I am not good enough" or "Maybe someday" or "I will try." It takes courage to embraces ourselves warts and all especially when we are surrounded by critics.

Mentally I've been spinning and weaving my stories for so long I always assumed that most people entertained themselves the same way. 

So the next steps are the hardest proofing, editing, and editing. Yes I know I said editing twice it was intentional, I want my stories read good stories need a lot of editing if they are going to be read and appreciated.


I want to entertain others the way I can entertain myself, my goal is to publish in mid-2013 and if I am very lucky I will have entertained a few folks with a good yarn.

To all have a healthy, safe, prosperous New Year.

See you on the other side.

10 occupational hazards of writing

Occupational hazards of being a writer:

1. Neighbors and friends think you are a recluse.
2. People question your sanity.
3. People ask if they can be in your book.
4. Same people ask that they not be in your book.
5. People want to read it before it is finished.
6. People question your honesty at every turn as if fiction can over come the reality and truth.
7. People complain bitterly that you wont entertain them.
8. People complain bitterly that you entertain them and its not fair that they can't "compete."
9. People claim that it is "easy" for you to be creative.
10. Secretly sometimes you do prefer your characters to the people around you.

Do you want my juicy, bloggy goodness?

Please subscribe so you don't have to bookmark and wonder when this piece of hot greatness has been updated.

I would also like to pose a question:

When was the first time you fell in love? Did it last?

Banned books my first love

I fall in love with love all the time yes me the happy disbelieving cynic is a closet romantic. The first time I fell in love I was 4, the objection of my -undying- affection was 12 his name was Robert he was tall dark and handsome. OK he was taller than me  and he was dark the handsome part debatable.

I remember the first time I saw him, I was walking home with my mom and little toddler eyes fell on him and my little heart went pitter patter.  I stopped walking turned to my mom and said: "Mom I am going to marry that boy", pointing at Robert who was walking with his dad. My mother was glad I had decided to marry a boy as I had already told her that I didn't want to have babies I wanted to have a monkey instead (a story for another day.)

My mom being the sweet supportive woman replied: "I am so glad you like Robert, when you are older you can tell him." Like him? no mom I am in LOVE WITH HIM. My mom knows me so she says of course honey you are in love with him, but I could here the note of humor in her voice and I was miffed. Apparently the old lady thought that --> I at the ripe old age of 4 could not love. Well I would show her. I was going to study love. And I knew exactly what to do and where to go: books were the answer.

Growing up my mom had stacks of romance novels all over the house, I learned how to read Spanish much to the -joy- horror of my poor mother.   Determined to show my mom and Robert of course I would sit in the living room sounding out words and learning the language. One day I got to a big word, knowing that my mom always said if you cant read it after trying ask for help, I walked over to her in the kitchen where she was cooking. Hey mom what is this word?

My mom looked down, she saw the cover and she looked at me the way you look at a potential suicide threat on the ledge. "Honey you know how to read in English, that book is in Spanish," her words were light but I could see the tension in her eyes.

"I can read in Spanish, listen, my voice falter as I sounded out words: he stroked her stomach up his hand heading lower to her-" the book was snatched faster out of my hand than that one time I played with a zippo lighter. In retrospect the zippo lighter was less hot than the book. After that incident my mothers book collection went from stacks on coffee table, on chairs, on top of the TV to hidden like illegal contraband.

Did I learn about love that day? No, but I learned that I could read Spanish and scare my mom talk about a total win. But I digress, my point is that when ever I have wanted to learn something I have turned to books, even when a teacher would ask if I needed extra help I would ask if they could recommend a book.

My favorite books have all taught me something: a joke, a new song, poem, word etc. I believe all great books are like that we all walk away learning something. As I work on my novel, I have a certain character that is learning, but I find that I am learning right along with him.

The super awesome books on the other hand scare our parents, so in that honor go out and pick up a banned book.

Jack and Jill wrecked my story time

Ahhh the old neighborhood taught me my love for libraries and where I would get into trouble with my first story time.

We had just moved and the library was less than a block away, imagine my mothers delight at story time. Off we went the librarian was maybe 16 but hey I was 4 which meant she was ANCIENT.

Let us call our intrepid librarian Mary, poor Mary started off with Jack and Jill. Mary should have gone with another story the second she laid eyes on my eager face.

The End. Mary smiled, I frowned, I was 4 but I wasn't stupid. My hand shot up, Mary didn't see it coming and was expecting praise instead this is what she got: "Why did they go up the hill, who puts a well on a hill?" If Jill saw him fall why would she try to go down as well, why did Jill want to fall?

Mary looked at my mom, my mom looked at Mary then at me, she nodded she turned to Mary with a smile and said: "Oh that one is Lisbeth" and my mom went back to watching my other sisters. Wendy the second of us four sensed a revolution afoot. "Do we burn the books? she asked me coming out of a sleep stupor.  My mother shushed her no book burning my mom said automatically in response to any Wendy suggestion, OK gonna check for the door so we can get out fast.

By this point Mary realized that story time was wrecked. In Mary's defense it wasn't her fault which brings us in a very round about way to the moral point of this post.

Great books have great characters which are MOTIVATED by something, anything whether it is finding an albino frog, winning first place for genetically modified pumoranges (half pumpkin half orange) or wanting some ice water.

We all want something every single person, next time a person tell you "I don't want a thing" they are lying they want a trillion more things than you, even Tibetan monks want more enlightenment.

So it is OK make your characters needy, my characters are mature but have as many needs as unsupervised 2 year old with a sugar rush.

Giving Thanks

It has been a rough week for me, no tragedies or miss-fortunes (knock on wood) it has been rough because I feel held hostage by my 9-5 paycheck. I enjoy everything about my job except the 10% of when I have to interface with office colleagues. I say interface because the systems in place recycled robotically.

I won't be going home for Thanksgiving :( to expen$ive but I have so much to be thankful for this year.

1. My family is healthy
2. My family has grown
3. My family has learned wonderful things this past year
4. I have kept my commitment to personal development
5. I feel more at peace because of what I have discovered about myself
6. I have been a positive influence for many

I hope that this year as you gather with family or friends you take a moment before you start to feast to give thanks for all that we have been given in this past year. Also take a moment and ask yourself: How can I help people around me?

Happy, Healthy and Safe Thanksgiving to all!

Dedication and passion

Dedication and passion equal success. Success is subjective, my idea of success and what society states is a successful person can differ greatly at times.

I would rather be successful at being happy than successful at being number 1 at work. I don't think any tombstone proudly proclaims "S/he was number one at work."

Being happy takes dedication, to often you will hear that you should  or could be doing something different than what you are passionate about. The trick is to keep the faith, not because of the accolades or recognition but because to live a great life means being true to oneself. Dedicating your life to your personal happiness isn't selfish, by making yourself happy you infect other around you with joy and happiness.

Want to make an impact on the world? Do you want to stand out? Dedicate each day to being happy and following your passions.

What makes you happy?

It is complicated

Unlike in real life, in stories we love characters who are complicated. We remember the characters that behave in ways that leave us with crossed eyes and mentally hurling profanity.

Our hero and heroines are complicated they are determined to do the right thing even when it isn't the best thing.  Our villains are determined to go the extra mile even when they have zero motivation and those are the villains that truly frighten us. With no motivation we wonder how can someone with no logical impetus be so evil, it is complicated.

I have finished one book and I am working on my second novel, each story features characters that are complicated. At each opportunity they pick a road that will lead them to what they think is happiness or an easy out but each only leads to further complications.

I think about the novels that have stuck with me over the years, they all had characters that were complicated. My arche-type of complicated is Lennie Smalls from John Steinbeck's: "Of Mice and Men" Lennie Small dreams of a life where he gets to pet soft rabbits.  Lennie's choices and his collision course with destiny are all wrapped around a seemingly innocent desire the desire to tend rabbits.

Many moons have waxed and waned since my school years required reading Of Mice and Men, but the emotional struggles that complicated invoke in us never go away.

I recently finished a book that left me in a torment of emotions, I was conflicted on every level, I read the last line of the book and I thought to myself this character is not real but all of these emotions are real. I hope that some day I can create an experience for those reading my work that touches and moves them to great heights and low depths.

Stress, writing and reading

Stress can be good or bad. Stress can help you meet and achieve goals. Stress can kill you, I am not trying to be melodramatic enough research has proven that to much stress can be harmful to individuals.

My blog is where I like to keep myself honest on my journey to becoming a published author.  Stress is something that 99.999999999999999999% of Americans are feeling at this moment. 

Having a 9-5 job where you feel unappreciated, overworked and which makes you question your professional goals is stress + mental beatings.

When I write I feel free, unfettered by all the social mores that dictate my life hour by hour. When I write I create. I view the creative process a divine gift, the ability to uplift and entertain people are a narcotic fix for me.

Today is one of those days when I feel like the world has beaten me down.  I feel no shame in crying "uncle" but will keep the white flag in the box where it belongs. Life is not easy, the journey through life takes many twists and turns. My ultimate goal is to be a full time writer, until that day, I will continue to work on balancing the demands of the day to day chaos and all it brings and my love of creating stories.

When I was very young I remember that even when I had a bad day, I knew that I could relieve some stress within the covers of a good book. And not only would I relieve my stress but have the added bonus of learning something.

I am thankful that I learned a stress coping technique that was not beneficial for my health. I hope that as I continue to write someday someone will pick up my book and find stress relief from the daily existence called life.

What to do when characters go rogue

My character has gone rogue, the character seemingly polite, dutiful and helpful has gone balls to the wall bat _hit insane. How did this happen? We all knew our parts, the story was moving and then it happened a hostile take over by a minor character who wants their day in the sun. Oh he is shining so bright at the moment that my other poor characters have set up a timer for him to go super nova.

I feel bad for abandoning my story at this moment, I need to get back in there and save my characters. Here is the thing if I put fingers to keyboard it is over, this character has taken a life and force of his own and he will not be denied.

Some writers will plunge ahead giving in to the giddy power of having been swept away by the novel. I on the other hand want my characters to each have their moment in the sun and now is the not time for what I now call my little terrorist.

I know that negotiation is not possible the character is to strong. The fact that the story is growing and learning is an achievement which I do not wish to control but to mold. Time to pull out the writers weapons of choice. An outline.

Some of you look at the outline process as a creativity killer or a necessary before even beginning the story. If there is one thing I have learned is that no one thing works for all writers. 100 writers will swear by the outline and 100 will heap scorn on the outline who is right? I don't know or care.

What I do know is that it is better to have a full tool box than an empty one. I write the right way for me. I take each scene and process it mentally 50-60 times and then I type it up. I re-read previous chunks and go from there will this work for you probably not unless like me you become consumed by your work.

So what do you do when your character goes rogue? Pull out a piece of paper, click on an outlining app, walk over to your white board and start outlining roughly where your story started, where your characters are and what resolution you were hoping to end with. Sound easy? 

Don't feel bad if you find yourself on a 24 hour bender cursing the outline it is working like bad tasting medicine it is doing its job as works through your mental landscape.

And if all else fails and your character is determined to have their way in your story keep typing you may have a surprise hit on your hands.

What if?

Every story I have ever made up in my head, or sat down to write has started with what if?

When I read a good story by the end, the what if, has been resolved and I can see the organic germination from where the author spun and weaved their story.

Every sentence, paragraph, page should move the reader through a series of revelations, removing veils, answering what if until the reader looks back and thinks so that is how it all started and why it ended.

Whenever, my characters start to go silent I realize it is because I have decided to impose my will on them and instead let them lead me to the natural conclusion of what if.

What if, will help your characters develop more fully, what if will help your plot move and grow as it should. What if will keep your readers turning the page.

What if, is the reason that the great stories are passed down and endure.

Go ahead stick what if in front of your opening sentence and the beginning of each paragraph.

Pinterest, boards, secrets and you the writer

OK so I have this twisted relationship with Pinterest. As a story-teller I understand Pinterest as website. When I go on Pinterest I am lost. All the boards, the re-pinning. Visually Pinterest looks like a shopping catalog on steroids and bath salts (the zombie bath salts as opposed to the good kind) pinning is great.

But try keep track of your boards if you are following someone, exactly a nightmare. When I started Pinterest I actually made my boards private just for me hey I figured it would be nice to have a visual board.

Imagine my delight today when I got pinged on the app and an email announcing "secret boards." I think Pinterest is moving in the right direction with secret boards not happy about the limit of 3 secret boards and I still not crazy about the lay-out of Pinterest.

You are probably wondering what does Pinterest mean to you the author if you are suffering from the malaise called writers block surf through Pinterest for just 5 minutes you will be visually assaulted by so many disparte images you will definitely walk away with some new ideas for your novel.

If you want to sign up for Pinterest head over to http://pinterest.com/ and happy pinning.

Sony e-reader books now liberated

Those of you who know me, know I am a gadget junky, you need a USB 2.0 or 3.0 cable, SD and micro-SD got those too along with everything else I keep in my gadget treasure chest.

So it will not shock you when I say I was one of the early adopters of the Sony E-reader. I would ride the train during rush hour and people would tap me and ask about the Sony E-reader. I was giddy like a high school girl with her first crush I would describe the e-reader as an iPod for books. But like most school girl crushes (with or without twinkling vampires) the love had a heavy price. Sony had a redunkulous DRM system that made reading on the e-reader not so pleasant.

Imagine my pleasant a few days ago to discover this:

https://ebookstore.sony.com/download/

The 400 books I purchased before Amazon released its first Kindle are now liberated, let freedom ring.  I am now going through my Sony library and I am so happy that they released an app I want to personally send them a fruit basket.

I would continue to write but like a kid at Christmas I am to excited about my new stash of reading material.

Happy reading and writing folks.

With minutes to spare can you write a paragraph? I did it on the Metro.

I sat in my chair looking out at the skyscraper landscape one shoe dangled off of my toe. I wiggled the shoe so it bounced slowly against my foot, the buildings in front of me receded. Best time to destroy her life is during the holiday, she has everything to lose. I adjusted my position, maintaining good posture was important when you are going to unleash hell on someones life. Destroy a marriage. Check. Lose her children. Check. End her career. Check. Leave her in poverty. Double check. I sighed, smoothing my skirt down, we can put a man on the moon and yet fabric that does not wrinkle is still as elusive as angels and fairy dust. My cellphone rang,  I trace the outline of my victims face on the caller ID. The devil has to much fun I murmured to myself as I let the call go to voicemail. My head dropped back and a smile spread across my face, revenge wasn't sweet it was delicious and I couldn't wait to start eating.


I wrote the above paragraph while sitting on the train using a text editing app, I wrote it in the the time it took the train make 5 stops. I set up the app to automatically sync with Dropbox, and from Dropbox to blogger it was another short hop.

Maybe it is in your hand, pocket, purse, bag, book-bag, table, your cellphone is a powerful tool in capturing those evil twisted scenes, dialogues, plots that stream through your writers brain all day. Don't let a piece of paper, or a word processing system get in the way of capturing all of your great ideas. If you can tap out a few words to trigger sentences that is also OK.

Long gone are the romantic days of the author sitting at his desk and writing.

This is a brave new world, and we write, online while waiting for our coffee, we write while waiting for the prescription to be filled, we will even lock ourselves in the bathroom for a minuets a day to capture some fantastic new idea.

If you have a phone and you are writing it is time to look at that phone a whole different way.

Happy writing.

If you have some recommendations on good apps PLEASE share.

Have you organized your day? You only have limited time

How many balls are you juggling?  And by balls I mean: writing, 9-5 job, family, social obligations, stay fit, school, etc.  I have some good news and I have some good news.

You want to hear the good news first?

The good news is that you and everyone else on the planet each get 24 hours in a day.

The other good news: you decide how you are going to spend your 24 hours.

Yes you have the power, you are the president, CEO, Boss of You.

When it comes to my personal management you can call me the Enron, Bear Stearns, the Lehman Brothers type of CEO. Which is why I am doing a daily self-audit, every night create a check list (I hate calling it a to-do list, but you can call it magical sprinkle moments.)

My check list contains all of the actions and activities I want to accomplish the following day. My checklist tends to be an exhaustive list for two reasons:

1. I am capturing all the things including the small stuff i.e. brush teeth, load/unload dishwasher
2. I want to drill down and understand how I am spending my time

Will this work for you? I don't know. Do I recommend it?  Yes. Why? Because over the years in my quest to be organized I have realized that organizational planning revolves around goal setting, behavior modification and forming positive habit.

What I have found is that most books, websites, coaches leave out the hard work the nitty gritty of "Know Thyself."  

Know yourself, how do you spend your 24 hours in a day? Are you up catching the late night shows? Do you need to decompress for at least 15 minutes after  you drink your coffee. Do you take a quick shower in the morning to wake up followed by a longer shower in the evening to detox from the day?  Do you sit at your desk at work and surf while you mindlessly eat your lunch? All of these activities take time how much time only you know.

When you are writing and you have a full time job you need to make as much of your time count. Which brings us back to my long check list, I am beginning to understand how I spend my time and how I can reallocate it so that I can do more of what I love: Writing.