The management warning signs were there from the very beginning the inconsistencies. The inability to make decisions. Deciding on one course of action only to decide days later that all the work should be trashed and a new course of action should be put in place.
So now I have been sumoned to the office. Yet again I find that I am still stuck on a carousel ride that speeds up, slows down, jumps up and down but never stops. The feeling of movement is an illusion because the carousel goes around in an endless circle. So I will sit, I will be reminded that I am lucky to be on the carousel ride and that others can easily take my place. I will be asked to read minds and perform magic.
In the past the carousel ride gave me motion sickness and the mind reading request made me nauseous. Now I am weary, I am jumping off, I will probably break something when I jump off, no safety net and it will hurt. But staying on this ride hurts more. I no longer have the energy to muster interest or a desire to understand new directives. I feel spent, but yet I also somehow feel closer to freedom. Unfortunately this freedom does not have a parachute
This freedom is only offering me a respite from stress that has pinched my nerves, a migraine that goes on for weeks, sleep that is disturbed and fractured by thoughts of "what if" meals half consumed because a stray thought will ruin the apetite and a sense of deep pain from mental and verbal diatrabes that are a zero sum win.
I am walking in tomorrow knowing that I am going to lose, but if wining means the same routine then I lost and never knew it.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
I don't want the perfect photograpic shot I want one that speaks to me.
I love looking through photo-sharing apps and websites. I only took 6 years of art history. I am not an expert. I tend to like a piece because it touches, catches my eyes or is the beginning (or end)of a story.
Having said that not matter what photographer does I am always left unimpressed by pictures of pets, flowers, clouds, beaches, mountain tops and please quit with the food and Starbucks pics already.
I love pictures of people going about there day to day existence. I also like pictures of things where they don't belong http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisbethej/8331569904/in/photostream This sculpture is across the street from the Georgia Avenue Petworth Library. Some day I will be less lazy and try to find the beginning of its origins but for now. The picture represents art in the every day. This is also one of my favorite pictures. All the gorgeous colors right in the middle of the street. People rush by it without giving it a second glance. http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisbethej/8330512411/in/photostream
Color me a helpless romantic but I love this picture. I know this couple very well and when you are standing in their presence you can feel their love. I love the fact that the mirror reflects their union in the presence of another dear friend. http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisbethej/8286461410/in/datetaken/
This picture has so many stories that I would rather that you give me your interpretation.
If you see someone randomly whipping out a camera and snapping pictures that is me. I don't look for the perfect shot I look for shots that tell a story.
Having said that not matter what photographer does I am always left unimpressed by pictures of pets, flowers, clouds, beaches, mountain tops and please quit with the food and Starbucks pics already.
I love pictures of people going about there day to day existence. I also like pictures of things where they don't belong http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisbethej/8331569904/in/photostream This sculpture is across the street from the Georgia Avenue Petworth Library. Some day I will be less lazy and try to find the beginning of its origins but for now. The picture represents art in the every day. This is also one of my favorite pictures. All the gorgeous colors right in the middle of the street. People rush by it without giving it a second glance. http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisbethej/8330512411/in/photostream
Color me a helpless romantic but I love this picture. I know this couple very well and when you are standing in their presence you can feel their love. I love the fact that the mirror reflects their union in the presence of another dear friend. http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisbethej/8286461410/in/datetaken/
This picture has so many stories that I would rather that you give me your interpretation.
If you see someone randomly whipping out a camera and snapping pictures that is me. I don't look for the perfect shot I look for shots that tell a story.
Live Long and Prosper. Peace and Long Life.
Want to fail?
Failing involves more work than succeeding.
Try to control and manipulate every second of every hour of everyday. If you are psychic you can skip this. For the rest of us its called life. Life is uncertain unpredictable, things, people, places events will all change. Change is an immutable absolute. As you sit here reading your screen something in your environment, thought process has changed. Some change will be good, some change will be bad. We don't get to pick and choose which we want it will happen regardless of how we live our lives. We can be devout and go through our ritualistic prayers or we can be faithless masters of our own destines to each (wo)man change will visit on a regular occurrence. Change does not check your calendar, does not care about your schedule and is not interested in how you feel.
Sometimes Change is feeling kind and will provide you with a safety net and a parachute. Most times Change will leave you stranded in an unfamiliar road with no reception and zero batter on your phone. Change is so sneaky it will insinuate itself into your daily routines.
Does change lead to failure? No. What leads to failure is the belief that we can take change put it in a straight jacket throw it in a padded room and discard the key. The fear you feel about change is the road to failure. Fear is a slow moving toxic poison, fear does not discriminate it attacks the young and old. Fear seeks nourishment in times of peace and chaos. Fear will push you to look for other individuals who are also infected with fear. Together your fear will create a group that can nod knowingly at every negative prophesy that has come to pass.
Fear will tell you to keep your head, hands and eyes down because if not then you will have to confront life. Fear will take you not to bother with risks because you are
a) not special
b) not good enough
c) you don't deserve to change
d) happiness is for other people.
e) change is hard.
You don't have to commit a crime to go to jail, you can skip the unpleasantness of doing something bad and long judicial process. Instead, lock yourself into your mind, listen to know determine you have all the right answers, and even if you don't have the answer finding the answers can be scary so stay where you are. Let fear stroke your hair, caress your cheeks and whispers lies about your future and your potential.
If you don't want to fail
Remember this is life everyone gets it wrong 99.99% of the time. Every opportunity you get choose to show yourself. We all have something positive to contribute, many a days have been saved because early in the morning someone said :good morning good to see you"
Right now there is something you have the power to do that no one else has. Maybe you are the only other person your home but you can get up and make some tea for someone. Maybe you are reading this on the train, go ahead offer you seat to someone who looks tired. I am a woman but I am always proud to give up my seat when a construction worker or a nurse boards the train.
If you really to succeed and be happy remember: You and only you are responsible for your happiness. The beauty of being responsible for your own happiness is that even when you fail you can look in the mirror and say "hot damn we did it our own way."
"Live Long and Prosper" "Peace and Long Life" Vulcan greeting.
Today and Tomorrow are a new day.
Failing involves more work than succeeding.
Try to control and manipulate every second of every hour of everyday. If you are psychic you can skip this. For the rest of us its called life. Life is uncertain unpredictable, things, people, places events will all change. Change is an immutable absolute. As you sit here reading your screen something in your environment, thought process has changed. Some change will be good, some change will be bad. We don't get to pick and choose which we want it will happen regardless of how we live our lives. We can be devout and go through our ritualistic prayers or we can be faithless masters of our own destines to each (wo)man change will visit on a regular occurrence. Change does not check your calendar, does not care about your schedule and is not interested in how you feel.
Sometimes Change is feeling kind and will provide you with a safety net and a parachute. Most times Change will leave you stranded in an unfamiliar road with no reception and zero batter on your phone. Change is so sneaky it will insinuate itself into your daily routines.
Does change lead to failure? No. What leads to failure is the belief that we can take change put it in a straight jacket throw it in a padded room and discard the key. The fear you feel about change is the road to failure. Fear is a slow moving toxic poison, fear does not discriminate it attacks the young and old. Fear seeks nourishment in times of peace and chaos. Fear will push you to look for other individuals who are also infected with fear. Together your fear will create a group that can nod knowingly at every negative prophesy that has come to pass.
Fear will tell you to keep your head, hands and eyes down because if not then you will have to confront life. Fear will take you not to bother with risks because you are
a) not special
b) not good enough
c) you don't deserve to change
d) happiness is for other people.
e) change is hard.
You don't have to commit a crime to go to jail, you can skip the unpleasantness of doing something bad and long judicial process. Instead, lock yourself into your mind, listen to know determine you have all the right answers, and even if you don't have the answer finding the answers can be scary so stay where you are. Let fear stroke your hair, caress your cheeks and whispers lies about your future and your potential.
If you don't want to fail
Remember this is life everyone gets it wrong 99.99% of the time. Every opportunity you get choose to show yourself. We all have something positive to contribute, many a days have been saved because early in the morning someone said :good morning good to see you"
Right now there is something you have the power to do that no one else has. Maybe you are the only other person your home but you can get up and make some tea for someone. Maybe you are reading this on the train, go ahead offer you seat to someone who looks tired. I am a woman but I am always proud to give up my seat when a construction worker or a nurse boards the train.
If you really to succeed and be happy remember: You and only you are responsible for your happiness. The beauty of being responsible for your own happiness is that even when you fail you can look in the mirror and say "hot damn we did it our own way."
"Live Long and Prosper" "Peace and Long Life" Vulcan greeting.
Today and Tomorrow are a new day.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Old people, wallets, treasure and money
I spent some time with my mom this past week and as always a dull moment did not occur. My dear mama could have had a successful career in the CIA or NSA as she likes to snoop peruse my things. My wallet was lying on the couch next to me its contents about to completely spill out. Side note the last time I cleaned out my wallet was back in the year of Dubya reign presidency.
So my mom nudges the wallet and voila it all spills out, now I am not going to rain on my mom's snooping parade plus I will admit I too was curious to see what was inside. Next thing I know my mother laughs in glee she has hit the mother lode.
Eureka! Money yes foreign currency from all my travels.
Most people collect postcards, shot glasses or t-shirts. Me I collect currency, I like to keep it classy. My mom grabs the stash and fans it around she leans in close to me and says: "you know there is a currency exchange place down the street I think I will stop by tomorrow."
Anyone else and I would have battled over my vacation treasures. I looked at the rest of the spilled contents and sighed. I will clean out the wallet someday or maybe someone else will come along and find more buried treasure within so I don't have to do the dirty work.
So my mom nudges the wallet and voila it all spills out, now I am not going to rain on my mom's snooping parade plus I will admit I too was curious to see what was inside. Next thing I know my mother laughs in glee she has hit the mother lode.
Eureka! Money yes foreign currency from all my travels.
Most people collect postcards, shot glasses or t-shirts. Me I collect currency, I like to keep it classy. My mom grabs the stash and fans it around she leans in close to me and says: "you know there is a currency exchange place down the street I think I will stop by tomorrow."
Anyone else and I would have battled over my vacation treasures. I looked at the rest of the spilled contents and sighed. I will clean out the wallet someday or maybe someone else will come along and find more buried treasure within so I don't have to do the dirty work.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Build a word in English
Writing is the act of capturing thoughts, feelings, objects, places, ideas in printed form. English has an extensive history of borrowing heavily from different languages when a suitable word pops up. After all it is much easier to say pass the shampoo than pass the hair care washing product. Oh the word shampoo we English speaking folks borrowed that from Hindustani language http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shampoo
But let us not digress, from our new mission. I have noticed of late that certain words do not yet exist in our modern vocabulary so I am going to ask you for help.
First up we need a word that describes the act of buying a piece of technology only to discover an hour later that a newer better, faster, cheaper model has been released (buyers remorse is not fitting for this purpose) We need a word that captures feeling like we no longer are holding a piece of technology that is awe-inspiring and will have people stop us and ask questions. The word needs to convey the sense of embarrassment we feel now carrying that form of technology and the feeling that had we waited one second longer we too, could have been cutting edge.
As you can see, it took a paragraph to describe what it feels like to buy technology today in these turbulent times and yet no words captures its essence. We are looking for a word that like oil from the petals will tell us ahhh yes perfume.
So drop your suggestions below. I encourage lifting words from different languages *see shampoo reference above* I also encourage creativity and above all elegance in brevity.
Ciao
But let us not digress, from our new mission. I have noticed of late that certain words do not yet exist in our modern vocabulary so I am going to ask you for help.
First up we need a word that describes the act of buying a piece of technology only to discover an hour later that a newer better, faster, cheaper model has been released (buyers remorse is not fitting for this purpose) We need a word that captures feeling like we no longer are holding a piece of technology that is awe-inspiring and will have people stop us and ask questions. The word needs to convey the sense of embarrassment we feel now carrying that form of technology and the feeling that had we waited one second longer we too, could have been cutting edge.
As you can see, it took a paragraph to describe what it feels like to buy technology today in these turbulent times and yet no words captures its essence. We are looking for a word that like oil from the petals will tell us ahhh yes perfume.
So drop your suggestions below. I encourage lifting words from different languages *see shampoo reference above* I also encourage creativity and above all elegance in brevity.
Ciao
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