I was 6 years old, my sisters were super excited about our trip to Coney Island. I was not as excited. I was terrified when we arrived at the amusement park so many terrifying sights, loud noises and to many people.
When my mom placed my sisters on the carousel they squealed with delight, I had an epic melt-down, I let loose an ear popping terror filled screech. My mom had the operator stop the ride and pulled me off. All the kids watched as my mom pulled me down from the frozen glassy-eyed monster that had no resemblance to a beautiful horse. Humiliation and embarrassment yup felt it like a tight scarf cutting off my oxygen supply.
Why did my brain jump back 100 years ago as I sit here now? I feel frustrated. I am trying to pull together a plan. A personal plan of action and yet my mind goes back to Coney Island to the bobbing horses as they lumber in that slow circle the cacophony of the evil jingle is rattling in my brain. I am sitting here 3 decades later and I can smell popcorn, hot-dogs, cotton candy and the beautiful smell that only happens in the summer when the air becomes heavy, sweet and green.
I am lost on this mental time-path, I see everyone lining up for the carousel ride, I see the big brass ring. Every so often an emboldened individual will try and grab the brass ring.
The carousel does not speed up or slow down it goes in a circle, bobbing up and down to the jingle that pierces my eardrum. I see the people standing, waiting impatiently so that they too can jump on those frozen caricatures masquerading as horse. They stand in line impatient, they too want to go around in a circle.
The jingle winds down the horses slow signifying the end of the ride, everyone is where they started. Impatiently those that waited push so that they can also jump on the carousel.
I can feel their impatience they want to spend time going around in a circle. I can see the covetous eyes that follow and look longingly each time they pass the brass ring. Another brave soul will reach out to grab it. So close and empty-handed. The rider behind breathes a sigh of relief thy didn't get but now they have a shot at grabbing the brass ring. Each successive failure only creates more longing to nowhere.
I told my mom I didn't want to ride the carousel. As I sit here in this mental time traveling expedition I realize I didn't have to step on the carousel to ride it.
And now I have to jump off and hope I land safely.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e68P9QN11zg
"Ok take the galaxy and pour it into a teacup." ♦Lisbeth Jimenez I like that it's a great quote! Checking out your story and I like it. Reminds me somewhat of my writing about the first snow. Well, I have heard that great minds think alike.
ReplyDeleteHi Bekkie lately I have noticed that we are all trying to reach for a brass ring and we dont know why we are going around in circle. We falsely believe we are moving only to discover we are where we first started.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for leaving a comment I really do appreciate them :)