https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tI1_KlO6xI
Today is the first day of May, in the grand scheme of things today's date is meaningless. I flipped the page on my wall calendar, yes I actually purchase a wall calendar every year. I find the visual flow of days to be both therapeutic and motivating.
The calendar reminds me that I am like a gallon of milk, only my expiration date is unknown to me. Much like taking the tentative whiff from the milk carton before pouring any, I greet each day with a tentative sniff. Yes I have not expired.
I look at the date on the wall, the voice in my head does the correct calculation almost half the year is gone. Now I flip back and look at the previous months reviewing milestones and achievements why look at that I ovulated on the 14th of last month. I am still of child-bearing age. Then I flip the pages forward. I stare at each page silently for a few minutes as if I was a medium conducting a seance. What will happen on August 9th of this year? Will I remember on August 9th that on May 1st I was thinking of this particular day?
I flip the calendar page back to May, my mind travels. My May 1st is both different and the same for everyone alive at this moment in time.
I touch the day, and as is my ritual at the end of each day I draw a line through the calendar signifying its death. Each new day is pregnant with opportunities. As I draw the line I am struck by the power I hold in my hands. I hold the power to mold time to my whims and demands.
My eyes goes back to the crossed out previous day and I realize that time has the power to mold me its whims and demands. In that moment I realize that my to do list, my wishes and desires are an attempt to make a stamp where a stamp already exists.
My thoughts drift back to my appointment on Monday, I realize that touching the Monday that just passed would be more difficult than walking on water and staying dry.
When I was in the fourth grade we had a snow storm in NYC, the storm itself was not to bad but half the class was absent. The teacher knew that lessons would be pointless so let us have a free day. We had an opportunity to read books, do artwork, practice music etc anything was permissible as long as we behaved. I sat at my desk pulled out my notebook and calculated my age for the next fifty years. Behind my thick coke bottle glasses my eyes scrunched in wonder at the year 2000.
Would we have flying cars like the Jetsons? Would we make contact with aliens? Would it be possible to be inside the TV show instead of just sitting and watching it? Would books be holograms that would play like a movie. When my mom picked me up I asked her all these questions and more, thankfully my mom understood I didn't want answers I was to excited about the future.
So yes I am excited about August 9th, it will probably be blazing hot, sunny, cloudy or rainy. I will probably wish it was cooler and odds are that nothing will happen on August 9th to stand out in my memory 20 years from now.
The beauty of life is living for all the amazing unknown possibilities.
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